[MEMBERSONLY]

The old classic Grandfather clock in the room stroke 6 in the evening and she sighed involuntarily. Another Wednesday. Yet another Wednesday without their usual mid-week coffee date. The time, she had assumed he always cherished and kept looking forward to. But now it all looked like a mere mirage. She checked her cell phone umpteenth time hoping against hope to see a missed call or a message dropped by him. But it showed neither.

A fresh batch of tears ran down her cheeks.

'Why would he remember their routine of spending every Wednesday afternoon together to wash out all the stresses of hectic life over a cup of coffee infusing new energy till they meet again? Wasn't it all just business for him? Their coffee dates had served his purpose. Now she was of no use for him. Even after knowing everything why was she still holding the hopes?'

Teri khataa hai mere jiyaa

Un pe bharosa kyuun tune kiya

[It's your mistake o my heart,

Why did you believe him..]

Wafting smell of hot brew in the coffee shop seeped through his senses and his mind traveled back to another such rainy Wednesday afternoon.

He had glanced at his watch hundredth time for now. It was already 4.30 and still there was no sign of her. More than half an hour had passed since he had been waiting for her. 'Why has she not arrived yet? Why her cell phone is unreachable? Did she forget that it's Wednesday today? Or then she has decided to not meet me again?' Innumerous questions eating his brain and making his heart heavier with every question.

He decided to go and check on her personally. He might have taken only a step further when a familiar zephyr dipped in freshly blossomed roses hit his nostrils and he instantly knew that she had arrived. A glance at the door of coffee shop, and there she was. Clad in a yellow salwar suit, her long silky hairs left loose and wearing her extremely exciting smile on her pink lips she was looking as magnificent as always. His mind felt at peace seeing her.

' So she has not forgotten their coffee date. She had not decided to not to meet him. She was there.' It was so soothing but that consolatory thought could sustain only for few moments as his fears cropped up immediately making him more nervous. But then why is she late? Why her phone is not reachable? Does she know his truth already? If so then she could go to the extent of expelling him from her life forever. He knew she hated lies more than anything in the world. Or was she there to just do that? Was she breaking-up with him??' Suddenly his temper reached to a high level.

She had hardly approached him flashing one of her warmest smiles when suddenly he held her forearms fiercely and her lips which were stirred to greet him left an audible wince. "Arnav..."

He realized what he was doing, hurting her. He loosened his hold on her arms but not his grip on her face which was under scrutiny of his distressed eyes,

"How could you Khushi? How could you forget our coffee date? Or have you decided to stop seeing each other? Are you here to meet me last time? How can you alone decide for both of us? No matter how much you try, I won't let you go. Samjhi tum?" He bellowed sternly.

Khushi's eyes rounded in surprise."Why on the earth I would think of breaking off with you Arnav? And how could you even imagine such crap? Just because I am half an hour late?" She asked in hurt voice.

'She does not know. She doesn't know yet.' His heart joyously concluded and he enveloped her in a bone crashing hug with the great sense of relief. She is still there in my life', the only thought satiated him.

When she did not respond to his affectionate embrace, he understood that he needed to do some damage control now. So craning his neck back and looking at her upset face, he spoke in a relatively calmer tone"I was scared for my life Khushi. I was so freaked out. You were late and your phone was not reachable too. You know how much afraid I am of losing you. I can't even imagine my life without you... And then it is our Wednesday and you did not reach on time. That had never happened before. That made me anxious. I cherish this time. I don't want our coffee dates to end Khushi. Ever"

He again gathered her in his arms however more tightly this time to get some warmth from her as that mere verbal confession of his fears had made him so vulnerable.

Khushi sighed irritatingly and reciprocated his hug. Her doubts were firmed today. She had realized that Arnav have had harbored some fears in his mind regarding sustainability of their relationship for reasons not yet known to her. He frequently reacted weirdly owing to that. But why was he so insecure about them? It was not that she was going to leave him anytime in life. And she had made sure to make her feelings known to him. But no matter how many times she assured him, his fright that someday she would leave him had never left its occurrence.

She broke the tight hug and looking into his hesitant eyes cupped his face."I won't ever leave your side Arnav. Never. And our every Wednesday will be similarly excited and charming. I promise we will be always together."

Sab jhoothe jhoothe vaade the unke

Chal peechhe peechhe aayaa tu jin ke

Wo piyaa aaye na

Piyaa aaye na wo piyaa aaye naa

[ All his promises were false,

following whom you came here..

That beloved didn't come..

Oh that beloved didn't come..]

"Will you marry me, Khushi?" finally the day had arrived when he found his bearings to propose her on their Wednesday coffee- date after contemplating long enough over how to do that. Offering brewing cup full of her favorite coffee decorated with the precious words "I Love You", holding the solitaire ring in one hand and kneeling in front of her, he had finally asked her

"Will you marry me, Khushi?"

And the response he received was much more satisfying to his soul than he had imagined. Her eyes welled up instantly but her delicate lips put on an enthralling smile. Her beautiful flustered face wore a ruddy tinge resembling his favorite cherries. And her gentle yes was all that which took him to treasure that moment for lifetime. He had never been so excited about his future in his life before.

They say,

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

And it was true. He just could not wait to get her into his life forever.

But, he should have known better. He must have thought about the consequences of his doings before dreaming such high.

Ab sab hi un khwaabon ki tu dagar chhod de

Ab sab hi un khwaabon ko tu khud hi tod de

Woh piya aaye na

[ Now you leave the path of all those dreams,

Now break all those dreams yourself..

That beloved didn't come..]

It was his entire fault to fantasize a beautiful life together knowing all the time that he had lied to her.

Teri khataa hai mere jiyaa..

He knew he should tell her the truth. He should confess the real reason for which he had met and acquainted with her, the actual cause to pursue her, and his selfish motive behind dating her. Literally speaking he had taken advantage of her nave nature for his own benefits but then his intentions were never wrong. It was an exigency of his case. He was performing his duty as a dutiful CID officer. He was just following the plan the whole investigation team had set up. The plan was clean and simple. Win trust of any high designated person of the dubious telecommunication company so that he could get an easy access inside the company and get some confidential information too.

Everything was running exactly as per the plan until he fell for her. Falling in love with her came as naturally as his breaths for being alive. He did not realize how much he had involved in her till his guilt conscious started nagging him for yielding profit from her trust. He knew, he should not mix up his professional and personal life together but it was inevitable now. The things just got too messed up even before he could understand. Surely he had completed his assignment successfully and provided the needed information to his team. But that was it. He then could not stop himself from seeing Khushi, from attending their Wednesday dates.

Wednesday Coffee Dates' He dryly smiled breaking his reverie and coming to the reality. "Why on Wednesday?" his colleague had wondered and he had only smirked at his puzzled look. He purposely had chosen a week day so that he could get all the possible information from her about her bosses, colleagues, current happenings in the company as well as a chance to go inside the building in the name of dropping her off. But soon his strictly official meetings had turned into his inevitable habit and then the purpose of his life. And he could do nothing about it. He wanted her in his life and wanted so bad that he had kept his identity a secret even after he had proposed her. He did not want to lose her at any cost.

But one fine morning when he could not run more from the fact that he should not keep her fibbing more and it was high time that he came clean with Khushi by admitting his wrongdoing, he could not press the issue further. He might have started his relation with Khushi on wrong foot but now did wish to start their life together rightfully. Confessing truth felt so simple to ears but it was not. How could he tell her the whole truth without making her feel that she was betrayed? How could he have explained her that how he was attracted to her from start; How purposely he had pursued only her when her many colleagues might have proved an easy deal to crack; How did he continue to meet her even after his purpose had been served? How could he assure her that he truly loved her and wanted to be with her?' But no matter how hard it was, he had to compile.

Still he had made up his mind and composed his thoughts; his karma had already dug a deep grave for him.

"Strange things conspire when one tries to cheat fate"

How correct it was!!!

When, how... he did not delve into the minor details but what he came to know was that Khushi learned the whole truth from his friend who was another member of his investigation team before he could tell her.

What could have been the ultimate punishment for his dupery other than what he had dreaded of most, Break-up?' It was his fault entirely. He should have told her the truth earlier. But he was too scared to lose her. And finally the same had happened. He had lost her...FOREVER. He received what he deserved.

Har khataa kee hotee hai koi na koi sazaa

Gham likhe hon kismat mein to ban hee jaatee waja

Ab sabhi gham ashqon mein simat se gaye

Ab sabhi aansoo palkon se lipat se gaye

Woh piya aaye na..

[ For every mistake there is a punishment..

If there are sorrows written in fate, some reason forms..

Now all the sorrows are wound up in tears,

Now all the tears have clung to the eyelids..

That beloved didn't come..]

But was his love nonmeaningful? How could she easily break the relation they had been cherishing from a year in a moment? Could not she read the truth in his pleading eyes? Could not she understand intensity of his love in past year? Did all their meetings, their talks, their promises, and their dreams suddenly hold no meaning to her?

Sach lagaa thaa jo be-vajah hum ko

wo bharam ho gaya hai

Mod aane the jis fasaane mein

Wo khatam ho gayaa

Bhoole hum bhoole wo

Kaise sab se kahein baat ye..

[The truth I thought is for no reason,

that has become an illusion..

The story in which there were twists yet to come,

it has ended (abruptly).

I forgot, s/he forgot..

How do I tell everyone..]

Her anger, her hurt he had understood all. She had all the rights to arraign him, to berate him. And he had listened to her every piercing word silently, accepted her every accusation too.

praj.shrish2014-01-30 00:55:56