[MEMBERSONLY]

Husshhh...Finally I am BACK 😃😃

I know I have written below average this time but I am happy that atleast I could break the ice of not writing anything. Please bear with this not so good update 😕

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My friend Divyahet has gifted me this banner for this story. I have no words to describe what I felt receiving it. I just want to say a small Thanks as a token of my love for her ❤️

Credit: Divyahet

Rehna tu, hai jaisa tu

Khushi was pacing length of her room fidgeting with her pallu but her whole being was concentrated on the sounds coming from bathroom. The sound of running shower went on subsiding and she knew he could come out at any minute now. So taking a seat on recliner, she grabbed the laptop he was working on few minutes back and waited for him to come out

The minute Arnav stepped out of the bathroom, he heard a loud thud. As he searched for source of this noise, found visibly dreaded Khushi struggling to pick his laptop fell on the floor. He threw his wet towel on bed and immediately went to help his wife.

Till he reached her, she had stood on her feet holding display screen of laptop in one hand and keyboard in another. Her eyes filled with fear and lips quivered. "Arnavaji who...I was just playing game on your laptop and I don't know how it slipped through my hands. I am so sorry. I broke your laptop"

He pursed his lips and glanced at the two separate pieces of laptop which were one few minutes ago and then looked at Khushi's lowered face. He took a deep breath and simply said, "That is ok Khushi. It's just the display that is damaged. I will get it repaired tomorrow." Saying this he turned to get his towel.

But Khushi was too quick for him as she stood before him immediately.

"That is not okay Arnavji. You have an important presentation tomorrow. How hard you have worked this whole evening preparing it and now you can't finish it because I broke your laptop" She perused the matter insistently.

Arnav shook his head displeasingly and strode to dressing table not wishing to face her scrutinizing eyes. Picking his hair-brush and combing his slightly damp hair mumbled as matter of fact, "I have some time in the morning before the meeting, Khushi. And as it is, the presentation is almost done. I just need to do few corrections. I can manage it"

He placed his brush back and without looking at her, moved towards the door saying "Let's go downstairs. Everyone must be waiting for us for dinner."

Khushi too, quickly walked to door but instead of going out she blocked the path stretching her hands out with determination.

"No. Not until you scold me" Came her firm reply.

"What...th" Arnav watched at her confusingly bunching his eyebrows. "I mean, Stop being a kid Khushi. You did nothing so that I should scold you"

"I made a mistake, Arnavji. I broke your laptop when you had important work to do. I totally deserve it."

Arnav held her outstretched left hand to pull her closer and whispered in hardly audible voice "It is not a mistake Khushi. You did not do anything purposely. And besides that whatever you did can be amended." He added further in a lowered tone if that was even possible, "But there are few mistakes which can never be corrected."

Khushi missed a heart-beat listening to him. She cupped his face in her soft palms gently. "What had to happen is happened, Arnavaji. Everything is over now. Stop blaming yourself. Until when will you punish yourself for that?"

"I am not punishing myself" He held her both hands in his and brought them down. "I just want to change myself completely so that it would never happen again"

He sighed with that. "Anyways I am going downstairs. Come soon. I would be waiting for you to join us for dinner, okay?" He squeezed her hands slightly and walked out before she could say anything more.

Khushi kept staring at the direction where he went. Her beautiful eyes welled up.

"I don't want you to change, Arnavji. I have always loved how you are. Please don't change for me."

Rehna tu, hai jaisa tu

Thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukoon

Rehna tu, Hai jaisa tu

[ Stay as you are

A little pain, a little relief

Stay as you are ]

His anger, how much anyone finds it absurd to hear but was her way to enter his heart. He used to lash out at her frequently and it was true that sometimes she felt bad too. But she knew it was his way to way out his frustration, irritation and she was happy that she could then help him with reducing his stress. When he would get angry at her, she would immediately understand what might be bothering him. His office tensions, his insecurities, his awkwardness in relationships everything. She had handled his every issue tactfully. Thanks to his anger because he would lay his heart out only when he got angry. Otherwise he was very bad with words when it came to expressing himself. Though he was short tempred, not to forget his limitless love showered on her once all the tresses of his anger vanished. His anger was like early morning dew. Once the sunrays would fall, it would immediately disappear and would only remain his warm, shining love for her. So she loved his anger. It had been working as catalyst for their ever growing love for one another rather than being a notch in their relationship.

Rehna tu, Hai jaisa tu

Dheema Dheema jhonka, Ya phir junoon

Thoda sa resham, tu hamdam

Thoda sa khurdura

[ slow like a gentle breeze, or a passion

A little silky, you are my love

A little rough ]

But after that incidence which took place in their lives not so long ago, everything had changed. His guilt conscious had changed him completely making him a totally strange person. Sometimes even Khushi had wondered if he was the same person to whom she had married a year ago. Calm, quite, obedient Arnavaji was a truly painful sight to watch. She missed their usual nok-zhoks, their arguments where both of them would strain their every nerve and muscle to prove them right, his cajoling after their every fight, their funny bets... Every beautiful thing in their relationship had abruptly stopped.

Khushi's every attempt to irk him; to irritate him had gone in drain. Instead with her every try he had grown more and more quite in the fear of getting angry on her. He had almost stopped talking his heart out to her lest he said something which would hurt her. He would easily agree to everything Khushi would say without arguing. He would compile her every wish even at the cost of his important work. He would buy flowers, gifts for her every day. In short he was trying to be a perfect husband which any woman would wish for. But if you ask Khushi, she was suffocating with these changes in her husband. She had loved her earlier Arnavaji who had never pretended his behavior. But nowadays he was trying to be super cool and act over understanding.She found it all pseudo because her Arnavji was never like this.

His nature might have seemed difficult to everyone else but somehow she had happily adjusted to it and knew how to handle his temper and mood swings very well. And vice versa it was only him who could tolerate her antics, sometimes too childish acts and her nonstop gabble. Both of them were perfect for each other.

Kabhi tu ad jaaye, Ya lad jaaye

Ya khushboo se bhara

Tujhe badalna na chahoon

Ratti bhar bhi sanam

[Sometimes you are stubborn, or fight

or are full of fragrance

Don't want to change you

Not even in the least]

These days his sincere efforts to suppress his restlessness, unpleasantness and anger for not to hurt her was creating a high wall around his heart which was getting tougher day by day for Khushi to break. He was going more and more into his shell. And Khushi was not happy with that at all. She was unable to understand what was running through his mind these days. It had been very enigmatical to decipher whether he was angry, sad, irritated or then truly happy and was not just pretending to be happy. At any time if choice was given to her she would prefer his anger, his irritation, his lashing so that at least she could know what was troubling him and could share his pain. But with this strange behavior of his, she felt herself a total stranger to his life. She felt as if she was left out from his life.

She wanted her old Arnavji back. At any cost.

Bina sajawat, milawat

Na zyaada na hi kam

Tuhje chaahon, jaisa hai tu

[Undecorated, Unaltered

Neither more nor less

I like you, just the way you are]

Their marriage was the most magical thing that had happened in her life. Even though theirs was an arranged marriage fixed by his Di, no one could deduce that looking at this couple head over the heels in love. It had happened to be love at first sight for both of them when they had first met and after that there was no turning back in their relation. They were just perfect for each other like two fitting pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Truly made for each other.

Initial few months after their marriage were too enchanting for Khushi. She never knew that it was even possible to be this happy in life.

She had gotten hint of Arnav's possessive and tempered nature in their long six months period of courtship itself but had quickly learnt to handle his moods too. His family was totally supportive and too good to believe. Specially his elder sister Anjali. Khushi had admired the special sibling bond Anajli and Arnav shared. He just adored his sister or saying he treasured his sister would be more appropriate. It might be due to their cruel past. Whatever, but she just loved him and his family. It was all felt like a beautiful dream.

And a dream indeed it was as it cracked sooner when she started to notice Shyam jijaji's ,Anjali Di's husband hideous behavior towards her. At start, he used to openly flirt with her but she had overlooked that considering it as his free nature. But as days passed his courage only grew and he started troubling her by touching her, trying to hold her hand or hug her whenever he would find her alone. He used to lurk around her always. And it tortured her to no end. She wanted to tell this to someone in the family but was not sure if anyone would trust this newly married girl over their dear son-in-law.

But not sharing her trouble even with her husband proved to be a truly regretful decision when one evening her husband found her and Shyam together in a disgraceful condition on terrace. She had gone to terrace to get some fresh air and Shyam had followed her as usual and tried to molest her.

Without giving any chance to her for clearification, Arnav had declared in a bad fit of anger that she had deceived him. Then what had followed after that for many days was like a very bad nightmare. His accusations, his tirades, their daily fights. Everything was all messed up bringing both of them on the edge of separating from each other. And their once beautiful relation could have surely broken, had Khushi not recorded hers and shyam's scandalous conversation on her phone intelligently and offered to Arnav as a proof of her innocence. Listening to his jijaji's lusting words, he had realized how wrong he was to doubt on Khushi when his own Jijaji was at fault. He truly regretted for not trusting his faithful wife. Of course later he had skillfully managed the situation. He exposed Shyam in front of the family ,threw him out of their lives, helped Di to pass through this bad phase and apologized to Khushi for his behavior almost millions time every day. He did everything possible for him to earn her forgiveness and Khushi too had forgiven him after few days. Finally their lives returned to normal being. Or that seemed so. But somehow his guilt had never left his mind. He held his own anger responsible for not seeing through the situation and not trusting her. Had he handled that issue calmly and sensibly by giving a single chance to Khushi to explain herself at least once then the matter could not have gone this worse. But he had been adamant to not listen to her and punish her for her unfaithfulness. With similar thoughts continuously lingering in his mind, he had decided to change himself completely.

Khushi did not want him to change. She loved him as he was. Of course his bad temper had proved a biggest threat to their relation but then even that situation was to be held responsible for the same. Anyone could have done the same if he were to be at Arnavji's place. She had deduced that lack of frankness in their conversation was the real culprit and hence had come to a decision of sharing every single thing happening in her life with her husband without thinking about its consequences. She had suffered a lot due to the misunderstanding between them and now wished to forget the incidence and lead their earlier beautiful life. But only if Arnavaji would understand that he did not need to change himself to be happy together. They both were happy already.

Tuhje chaahon, jaisa hai tu

Mujhe teri baarish mein bheegna hai ghul jaana hai

Tujhe chaahoon, jaisa hai tu

Mujhe tere lapat mein jalna rakh ho jana hai

[I want to drench myself in your rain and get dissolved in it..

I like you, just the way you are

I want to get burnt in your flame, and burn away to ashes..]

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"Khushi.." Arnav called her again to break Khushi's reverie when he had oddly found her sitting in their room staring at the blank TV screen. It was too weird for him to see his chatterbox wife sitting alone and quite.

When she came out of her trance and looked at him with strange questioning glance, he asked her uncertainly, "Why are you not ready yet? Remember we have to go for your Salman Khan's movie?"

Khushi just shrugged her shoulders and replied "I don't want to"

Her behavior took him by surprise. She had never said no for Sk's movie. "Are you not feeling well?" He touched his back of hand to her forehead to see if she had temperature. But dismissing his hand, she stood up and spoke as matter of fact, "I have decided not to watch his movies hereafter"

"What? Why?" Arnav panicked with her answer. The day seemed to get bad by every passing minute.

"Because you don't like Hindi movies. You don't enjoy them Arnavaji" She said simply folding her hands to her chest

"You don't need to do that Khushi." He tried to convince her as if telling to a 5 year old. "True that I don't enjoy watching Hindi movies but then I enjoy watching you when you watch those and so I am always happy to watch such movies with you"

"Whatever! But now I have decided not to watch those movies. Please don't take trouble to book tickets hence forward." Saying this she left the place leaving behind Arnav in utter confusion.

Tu zakhm de agar

Marham bhi aakar tu lagaaye

Zakhm pe bhi mujhko pyaar aaye

[If you give me wounds,

You soothe me too

I love even a wound like that..]

As days passed, Arnav found it difficult to tackle with his wife's rapidly changing behavior. First she denied eating her all time favorite jalebee saying she had decided to stop eating them as he was diabetic and could not relish sweets. As if that was not enough she chose to speak minimal, answering monosyllabic if anyone tried to talk to her. She had stopped wearing her colorful dresses suddenly and started wearing only black and grey. Arnav was getting it very hard to decipher her reasons of behaving so. He had always loved his talkative, chirpy Khushi. Her love for sweets and colors used to brighten his days though he was not so fond of them. But with this changed Khushi he felt his every day pale and boring. There was a time when he used to plead her to keep mum for few minutes so that he could enjoy at least few minutes of silence and now these were the days when he was yearning to hear her voice.

When Khushi continued to behave same even after many days crisscrossing his assumption of a reason behind her strange behavior as her hormonal changes, he had had it enough. He could not take it anymore. He wanted his old Khushi back at any cost. Now it's high time that I should talk to her' He thought desperately.

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It had been more than an hour that Arnav was working on his laptop in his room after returning from office. He stretched his hands to relax tired by continuous typing and glanced at his surroundings. His room was calm and quite unlike earlier days. Khushi had had served him his black coffee when he had returned to home and asked generally about his day. But that was it. Then she had disappeared. She did not delineated her day from the time he left for office till the time he returned like usual, did not ask him loads of questions about his day and did not complaint that he loved his work more than he loved her as she would normally do.

Enough is enough now' He decided. He needed to break this ice before it got too frozen and became a block in their relationship.

He rose up from the recliner and was to go downstairs to look for her when heard a familiar melodious clinking of her bangles. He turned on heels and went to poolside. And he had guessed it right as he found her standing near pool side with her hands folded and lost in her own thoughts while her gaze was fixed on some random thing.

He closed the distance between them with hasty steps and called her name.

"Khushi, what are you doing here?" He asked putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Getting some fresh air" She answered still not moving her gaze

"Not that, my love! I meant why are you here and not with me when it had been more than hour after I am back from office?" He asked her again with hint of restlessness in his voice.

Khushi inhaled a deep breath and turned to face him. Putting a fake smile on face which she knew he would catch instantly ,replied trying to sound as normal as possible.

"You were working, Arnavaji! I did not want to disturb you"

Arnav closed his fists hearing her answer and could not help from raising his voice. "Disturb? Bull shit. Since when did you start disturbing me Khushi? What is wrong with you? Will you please stop all this?"

"Stop what?" She asked confused. "Ohh this?" She looked at her hands playing with her Mangalsutra. "I am sorry" Saying this she dropped her hands to her sides.

It was the last straw for Arnav. He bellowed being uncontrolled "Not that! I asked you to stop..To stop whatever... just stop being so different damn it!" And he paused. He had raised his voice at her after so many days which he was perticulerly avoiding. He took a noticeable time to calm down his nerves and then spoke with lowered tone. "Look Khushi, you know that I am good neither with words nor with handling emotions. So if you think that I can understand what is wrong with you without you telling me then it is not possible. Please speak up darling." He cupped her face lovingly.

"Nothing is wrong with me Arnavaji! Trust me. I am just trying to be mature so that I can suit you perfectly" She spoke trying to suppress her hiccup. Least his love and care for her made her weak and fail her plan.

"What the? Who said you do not suit me? I could not have gotten more perfect partner than you Khushi. You do not need to change." He earnestly said.

"No Arnavaji, if you are trying so hard to change yourself for me then even I need to change for you." She said with an underlying hint.

And the realization dawned upon Arnav. He instantly grasped what she wanted to convey. He had to answer her unsaid question. He closed his eyes for fraction of seconds to gather the courage to say his next words.

"I love you as you are, Khushi" He said with sincerity.

When Khushi refused to look at him by down casting her eyes, he put his fingers under her chin and raised her face so she had to look at him.

"Please Khushi, give me my wife back who fights with me for trivial issues, who irritates me with her antics, whose nonstop blabber makes me smile, whose stubbornness spices my days. I can't handle this mature, quite Khushi. I want my crazy, cute wife back. Will you?" He pleaded her with his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Khushi's breath hitched looking at the droplets gathered at the edge of his eyes. She could see and take anything but not this. She earnestly held his cold hands in her warm ones and bringing their intertwined hands near her lips kissed gently.

"I will Arnavaji. I will surely return your old Khushi back" She spoke looking into his eyes. "But for that you too have to return me my old Arnavaji back. My angry, khadoos Lad governor. Will you?"

Arnav's lips deformed from being a thin line into a widely spread curve. He bobbed his head vigorously not trusting his voice to speak with the lump formed in his throat. And Khushi boarded on his chest engulfing herself into his warm embrace.

Dariya ooo dariya

Doobne de mujhe dariya

Doobne de mujhe dariya

[Ocean, O Ocean (of love),

Let me sink (in that love)..]

As the initial onrush of emotions subsided, she raised her head from his chest and craned her neck back so that she could match with his gaze.

"You don't need to change Arnavaji! I love how you are." And before he could say anything she kept her hand on his mouth restraining him from speaking. "It was not only your fault. I deserve to be blamed equally. We both had our trust issues. I should have trusted you and confessed whatever was bothering me and you too should have believed me when I denied to your blames. But that nightmare has passed. We both have learnt our lessons. Now let bygones be bygones. I want our old days back. And I don't want anything to change between us...Except" She paused to watch his reaction to her words. Without disappointing her, he arched his right brow to urge her to say what was on her mind and she completed her earlier sentence

"Except the exclusive gifts you often buy for me nowadays" with that she winked naughtily making him split into piles of laughter.

After many days; the star filled sky, the cool breeze and calm water of the pool had again witnessed this sweet tinkling laughter of the couple deeply in love.

They may not be perfect human being individually

But together they made a perfect couple.

Haath thaam chalna ho

To dono ke daayen haath sang kaise

Ek daaya hoga, ek baayan hoga

Tham le, haath yeh thaam le

Chalna hai sang thaam le

[If we have to hold hands and walk

how our right hands could be together

One would be right, and one would be left,

Hold my hands.. hold these hands

Hold as we have to walk together..]

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Movie: Delhi 6

Music: A R Rahman

Lyrics: Prasoon Joshi

Singer: A R Rahman

My take on the song:

I just love lyrics of this song. How beautifully it deciphers true meaning of love. Love is not just falling at first sight, being together and then living happily ever after. Rather it is a long and unending process. No human being is perfect. And when you accept your beloved one for what he is, with all his virtues as well his bad habits without any complaints then it is love; when you adore his good things and let go of his shortcomings then surely it is love. Love is making up for each other's minuses and enjoying each other's pluses, isn't it??

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praj.shrish2014-01-29 02:10:40