Pain - Bhīṣma Śāṃtanava Speaks

1 years ago

BrhannadaArmour

@BrhannadaArmour

Pain - Bhīṣma Śāṃtanava Speaks

Is this how an atiratha warrior should die? Śikhaṇḍin is in front of me, piercing me with his arrows, and I am ignoring my duty of mānuṣa - effort - by only half-heartedly fighting him, allowing Arjuna to hide behind him and shoot at me. This pain throughout my body - is it caused by Śikhaṇḍin? It was Śikhaṇḍin who proclaimed that he would slay me, and yet I am shooting most of my arrows around him, at Arjuna. I am ignobly relying on daiva - destiny - to give a lesser warrior the opportunity to take my life.

Śikhaṇḍin has that image on his flag: a dead body on a pyre, waiting for the torch. Who would choose such an inauspicious symbol, except one who is the reincarnation of a Rākṣasa? I shudder at the sight of it, while these arrows bite into my flesh. It reminds me of another time when I was inert, unwilling to act according to my royal dharma, until I found the right enemy to inspire me.

My father Śaṃtanu had just died. Vicitravīrya was too young to rule. Someone needed to act as regent. Darada, my uncle, was busy ruling his own distant Bāhlīka kingdom, and so Satyavatī had nominated me, but I knew that the reunification of the Kuru dynasties of Hāstinapura and Śuktimatī depended on my exclusion from power. If I wanted our kingdom to prosper in the future, I could not be the one to protect it in the present. I lay on the ground, unable to feel urgency, unwilling to stand up, until the news came that Ugrāyudha of Pañcāla had declared himself Cakravartin and was on his way to annex Kuru territories.

Ever since Devāpi, more popular than Śaṃtanu but denied kingship due to his skin disease, had performed a yajña for Kṛtaka, designating that son of Cyavana as his king, there had been unrest, rumblings of a war between brothers descended from different sons of Kuru. The empire built by Kṛtaka's son Vasu extended over Magadha, Cedi, Vatsa, Mācella, Lalittha, and Matsya, and incursions into our ancestral Kuru country seemed inevitable until Devāpi negotiated a rājya-śulka marriage of Śaṃtanu with Vasu's daughter Kālī. Although my mother Jāhnavī had been chosen for Śaṃtanu by his own father Pratīpa, her family's share of Ajamīḍha's empire now belonged to Vasu. Each of Vasu's sons, eager to annex Hāstinapura to his own kingdom, would wage war against me if I grew up to succeed Śaṃtanu, but they would all protect their sister's son, Devāpi explained. The only problem was their expectation that I would become a father before Kālī's future son, and my sons would seek to inherit. So, I had to swear that I would never have a woman.

They hadn't expected that when I was grown, I would be an atiratha warrior. Even I didn't convince myself of my preeminence until I had to face Ugrāyudha, whose ambition was insatiable. The five dynasties of Pañcāla had coexisted for many generations, respecting each other's territories within Ajamīḍha's empire. King Nīpa of the Bṛhadiṣu dynasty was like a grandfather to the orphaned sons of King Somaka of the Sṛñjaya dynasty, protecting their territory of Ahicchatra on the north side of Gaṅgā. It was King Janamejaya of the Kāmpilya dynasty who first felt threatened by Nīpa's power, and he instigated King Ugrāyudha of the Yavīnara dynasty to exterminate Nīpa's princes, leaving alive only Pṛṣata, Somaka's youngest son, because he was not yet a warrior. Then Ugrāyudha turned against Janamejaya and invaded Kāmpilya, bringing Pṛṣata with him. There, Ugrāyudha heard of Śaṃtanu's death, and he set out as Cakravartin to annex the Kuru kingdom. His challenge inflamed my numb body. I understood that I had to get up and fight to protect Vicitravīrya's kingdom. I attempted to negotiate with Ugrāyudha while I observed the period of purification. Meanwhile, his army, camped in one place for several days, fell sick, and retreated. Then I faced Ugrāyudha on the battlefield and felt his arrows piercing my limbs, as mine pierced his. I knew that I was born for battle. On the third day, I killed him.

My first victory felt glorious! The consolidated kingdom of Pañcāla had fallen to me. I had Pṛṣata released, and installed him in his ancestral capital city of Ahicchatra, giving him Kāmpilya and Mākandī too. I didn't want to administer another kingdom for Vicitravīrya; friendly relations between Kuru and Pañcāla were good enough for us. Each of the kings around us would get his turn to face me in battle, giving and taking pain, and I would enjoy humbling them, proving to them that I, who couldn't have a woman, was the best man of all.

The perfect occasion came a few years later, when Vicitravīrya was old enough to rule in his own right. The Kāśi king from Kosala announced that his daughters, born from the daughter of Hotravāhana of the Sṛñjaya dynasty, had the right of svayaṃvara. Like every warrior, I wanted to be famous for paying vīrya-śulka, a bride-price of valour. I went alone to Vārāṇasī and lifted both girls, Ambā and Ambikā, into my chariot, challenging the assembled kings and princes to wound me if they dared. Kausalya Kāśya ordered his army to fight me, as did Bṛhadratha of Magadha, Satyavatī's brother. The two girls hid themselves in my chariot while I fought singlehandedly against the armies. Hundreds of arrows struck me, but I took lives all around me and I triumphed. I brought the girls safely to Hāstinapura.

Bāhlīka made me release Ambā, since Bṛhadratha had already taken her hand in marriage, but Ambikā had only received her bride-price from Bṛhadratha, so Vicitravīrya was able to marry her. That was so long ago. Ambā and Ambikā, Satyavatī, Bṛhadratha and Vicitravīrya, their sons Jarāsaṃdha and Pāṇḍu ... all are dead, and I am still fighting.

My grandson Duḥśāsana stands in his chariot next to me, having fought valiantly against Arjuna to protect me. I am proud of Duḥśāsana. He earned everlasting fame for himself by grabbing the hair of an emperor's wife. Without Duḥśāsana's daring, this war might have been avoided, and then how long would I have waited for a glorious death in battle?

My fame as an atiratha has endured upto today, upto this moment when I face Śikhaṇḍin, Pṛṣata's grandson. Shifting alliances are natural for our royal dharma. It was Arjuna who led the invasion that seized northern Pañcāla from Śikhaṇḍin's father Drupada, and I am the reason that all of Pañcāla was theirs when Śikhaṇḍin was a child; yet Śikhaṇḍin is Arjuna's ally, and my sworn enemy.

Three days ago, Śikhaṇḍin fought me fiercely, alongside all five of Pāṇḍu's sons, until I broke his bow. Śikhaṇḍin's arrows cutting into my flesh makes me angry, but I focus my resistance on Arjuna instead. Last night, I understood that I cannot go on protecting Dhṛtarāṣṭra's sons' army in the present if I want our kingdom to prosper under the rule of Pāṇḍu's sons in the future. This time, I have to fight to lose.

Bhīṣma speaks to Duḥśāsana (Bhīṣmaparvan 114.55-61):

vajr'āśani-sama-sparśāḥ śit'āgrāḥ saṃpraveśitāḥ

vimuktā avyavacchinnā n'eme bāṇāḥ Śikhaṇḍinaḥ

Their impact is like thunderbolts. Sharp-tipped, fully penetrating, released without interruption - these arrows aren't Śikhaṇḍin's!

nikṛntamānā marmāṇi dṛḍh'āvaraṇa-bhedinaḥ

musalān'īva me ghnanti n'eme bāṇāḥ Śikhaṇḍinaḥ

Tearing apart my vitals, piercing the tough shield, they pound me like pestles - these arrows aren't Śikhaṇḍin's!

brahma-daṇḍa-sama-sparśā vajra-vegā durāsadāḥ

mama prāṇān ārujanti n'eme bāṇāḥ Śikhaṇḍinaḥ

Their impact is like punishment by a brāhmaṇa, their speed thunderous. Difficult to encounter, they distort my life-breaths - these arrows aren't Śikhaṇḍin's!

bhujagā iva saṃkruddhā lelihānā viṣ'olbaṇāḥ

mam'āviśanti marmāṇi n'eme bāṇāḥ Śikhaṇḍinaḥ

Like snakes enraged, tongues flickering, poison-spewing, they enter my vitals - these arrows aren't Śikhaṇḍin's!

nāśayant'īva me prāṇān Yama-dūtā iv'āhitāḥ

gadā-parigha-saṃsparśā n'eme bāṇāḥ Śikhaṇḍinaḥ

They scatter my life-breaths, like Death's emissaries at work, with the impact of maces or clubs - these arrows aren't Śikhaṇḍin's!

kṛntanti mama gātrāṇi Māgha-māse gavām iva

Arjunasya ime bāṇā n'eme bāṇāḥ Śikhaṇḍinaḥ

They cut my limbs like those of cows in the month of Māgha. These arrows are Arjuna's! These arrows aren't Śikhaṇḍin's!

sarve hy api na me duḥkhaṃ kuryur anye nar'ādhipāḥ

vīraṃ Gāṇḍīva-dhanvānam ṛte Jiṣṇuṃ kapi-dhvajam

Really, even all the other overlords of men could not give pain to me, except the hero whose bow is Gāṇḍīva, Jiṣṇu of the monkey flag!