Chapter 6

Moor278

@Moor278

[MEMBERSONLY]

[NOCOPY]

Part 6

Virat has planned to meet Sai at a coffee shop.

Since Sai is not aware of the location, Kunal offers to drop her off.

Virat is sitting in the cafe when he sees Sai getting down from the car. Kunal too comes out and chats to her. He lightly touches her arm and it looks like he is gearing her up. Sai smiles and crosses the road to reach the cafe.

Virat who has noticed this interaction is feeling sad, Sai has a smile on her face that he has not seen for a long time and he is most definitely not the reason for her smile. She notices him and takes up a seat in front of him.

He smiles at her ruefully and asks, “Kaisi ho?”

A thin curve gracing the corner of lips, Sai replies, “Thik hun… aur aap?”

“Main bhi”

"Itne din kaha the?"

"Matlab?"

"Kuch nahi…"

Virat looks at her, hopeful…

"Were you waiting for my call?"

Sai notices the tinge of happiness in his voice, but looking away says,

"Pata nahi… shayad"

Both sit quiet for sometime, Virat smiling yet wondering how to broach the subject.

“Tumhe kuch batana tha Sai… isliye bulaya”

“Bataiye … main sun rahi hun”

“Maine Mumbai transfer kar liya hai… I joined last week. Abhi quarters vagare allot hue hai. Trying to settle in”

“Oh… lekin kyun suddenly?”

Virat notices her surprise and responds,

“Suddenly nahi… soch samajh ke kiya hai. After all that has happened, I feel ashamed to call them my family members… aur…” and he stops… gauging her reactions.

Sai is now too eager to know what he wants to say. She leans forward slightly and Virat notices her excitement.

Feeling a bit happy, he says,

“Mere ghar walo ne tumhare saath bahot bura kiya… aur hamesha se karte aa rahe the… maine vo sab dekhte hue bhi use ignore kiya… ye meri galti thi… I feel mortified now that I could not protect you. I want to assure you that I am ready to change. Isliye jab tak ye sab hua nahi, I didn't contact you"

Sai looks at him, intently, trying to assess the truth of his words.

Virat, too, looks at her and after a pause continues,

“I am sorry Sai.Tumse Shruti ka sach chupane ke liye… meri vajah se tumne bahot kuch saha hai. I now realise the torture you went through. Main tumhe kisi aur ladke ke saath dekhta hun to aaj bhi jealous hota hun and you saw me sign a birth certificate. Main us waqt sirf apni taraf se soch raha tha… I didn't reflect enough on the pain I was giving you. I am sorry… a 1000 times over.”

Sai is looking down at her hands, fidgeting and afraid to look up. She feels vindicated at last, to be listening to those words. But she is also aware of the pattern Virat follows of making a mistake and apologizing each time. This time, she has resolved to not give in to his emotional manipulation.

Virat, uncomfortable with her silence, speaks up, 

“Sai… I know tum mujhe maaf nahi karna chahti… main tumhari jagah hota to shayad baat bhi nahi karta tumse…"

Sai looks at him stunned and flustered.

Virat notices this and pulls out something out of his pockets.

"Sai… main jaanta hun ki tum mere parivar main se kisi se contact nahi rakhna chahti.. lekin un logo ko bhi apni galti ka ehsaas ho gaya. Ye lo.. agar chaho to padh lo"

Sai looks at the envelope in his hands. She grudgingly takes it and opens to find 4 letters addressed to her. One each from Samrat, Mohit, Shivani and Ninad-Ashwini.

She contemplates whether to read and return them to Virat. Seeing her hesitation, he says,

"Tum chaho to baad main padhlo.. mujhe nahi pata usme kya hai… vo tumhare liye hai sirf"

Sai picks one and starts reading it. Virat keeps looking at her.

He sees her expressions change with each passing word. The tears that had started pooling around her eyes start falling as she moves ahead with another one and by the time she is at the fourth letter from Ninad-Ashwini, her sniffles are turning into sobs, her hands are shaking and she is controlling herself hard to avoid crying loudly.

Sai finishes all the letters, fists them tightly and without a word more, starts walking away. 

Having seen her breaking down, Virat quickly gets up and runs after her. Sai seems to have quickened her pace but Virat manages to catch her. Holding her wrist he stops her. Sai is looking down, in an effort to avoid looking at him.

Virat, a bit crisply tells her, "Sai.. gaadi main baitho.. and please calm down"

Sai realizes she had walked off on the road and that it doesn't look right to be crying in the middle of the road, she stalls but then gets into the car.

As soon as she gets in, the pain that she had been holding bursts out in the form of tears.

Virat is unsure about the content of the letters but understands that it has unravelled something sensitive. Sai is by now, shaking vigorously and crying. Virat waits for her to calm a bit and then asks,

“Sai… Kya hua? Mujhe bataogi?”

Sai nods her head in a refusal but her breakdown continues.

A while later, feeling burnout, Sai throws her head back and closes her eyes.

Virat feels distressed but is unable to console her, feeling helpless.

At last, Sai opens her eyes and looking far off says her goodbye to him and prepares to get down from the car.

Unable to take it anymore, Virat holds her wrist again and asks her to stay.

“Sai, please mujhe batao… main tumhe aise is halat main nahi jaane de sakta?”

Sai feels her frustration rising, “Nahi jaane de sakta matlab kya? Hote koun hai aap rokne wale? Kya haq hai aapka?”

Virat stares at her, having no answer to her query.

Interpreting his silence as his anger, Sai continues,

“Gussa aa gaya na aapko… haq ki baat ki to? Jab aapka haq tha mere upar tab to meri itni parvah ki nahi? Aaj jab nahi hai.. To aapko meri chinta ho rahi hai? Sabko ho rahi hai? Samrat dada, Shivani bua, Mohit, Aai Baba… sabne chitthiyan likhi hai… ki kaise sab sharminda hai…. Aaj sharminda hai… tab kya hua tha jab mujhe akela chod diya…”

Taking a pause in an attempt to compose herself, Sai stops but then again the flood of tears burst through…

“Thak gai hun main Virat Sir… sabki baat sunte sunte… sabko samjhte hue… mujhe koi nahi samjhta… aap bhi nahi”

The words pierce his heart but he continues staying silent,

Sai in a fresh burst of tears continues,

“Aaj Aaba hote to ye sab nahi hota… na meri aapse shaadi hoti, na aapka vaada toot ta aur nahi mujhe ye sab sehna padta. Main ek normal si life jee rahi hoti. College jaati, dosto ke saath ghumne jaati… majak masti karti… roj subah jaldi uthke ghar ke kaam nahi kar rahi hoti.. Aur vo sab karne ke baad taane to definitely nahi sunti”

Remorse fills up Virat's heart, at her implication that nothing good came out of this marriage for her. 

“Mere Aaba ne mujhe kabhi unnecessary pamper nahi kiya… par kabhi itni takleef bhi nahi di… Vo chale gaye aur aapko zimmedari de gaye… haan aapne saath diya… lekin jab bhi kuch galat hua to aapne mujhe chod diya, hurt kiya, khana khane se mana kar diya… aur ye sab jab ho raha tha tab kisine mere liye awaaj nahi uthayi. Main Kab tak apne liye fight karti? I am a human too. I had dreams, I wanted a simple life… aur mujhe kya mila… pehle din se aapke ghar main sirf nafrat aur berukhi… aur jo bhi acchhe pal the… jo acchhe rishte bane the… vo ek second main toot gaye … why should I listen to them now? Why should I forgive them? Meri galtiyon ki to mujhe bahot saja mili hai na?”

Sai takes another pause and then decides to once and for all express everything.

“Aaj aapke ghar wale chahte main unhe maaf karu? Kyun karu? Jab mujhe unki sabse jyada jarurat thi tab mujhe chod diya? Aise hote hai kya rishte? Aisa hota hai kya parivar? I am sorry but I can't forgive them. Any of them… Gadchiroli ki Sai shayad kar deti par Chavan Niwas main rahi hui Sai nahi kar payegi… aap hi logo se sikha hai maine” 

Ending her outburst, Sai wipes her tears and focusing at Virat says, “Main ja rahi hun Virat Sir. I have had enough. I was very attached to all of them but they broke my heart. I cannot forgive them. Not right now.” shoving the letters in his hands.  

With that, Sai starts walking away, while Virat can only stare at her and understand her pain, disturbing him deeply at how a gentle and pure soul like Sai is broken.  

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Part 6 is dedicated to Coolmeg and her comment in spoilers thread about Sai's breakdown. I was stuck at how to portray Sai's pain but her comment led me to this. Hope it does justice.