Chapter 2

Arnav closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Two things happened at the same time. A wave of sudden pain hit his chest, and Khushi's hurt eyes flashed in front of his closed eyelids. He struggled to breathe through the sudden pain. It's been a year, and slowly slowly he had seen her drifting away. Day by day the smile fading from her lips. He don't want her to know how much she means to him. With the intensity he wants her, needs her, it scares him. He had seen his Father telling his mother how much he loves her, how much she means to him. And what did it get him? Hurt! Pain! Betrayal! It had cost him his life. More than the pain and hurt, it's the helplessness he dreads. The helplessness he use to see in his Father's eyes. He is not up for that.

 

 

He opened his eyes and looked at the frame on his desk. It has his wedding picture. Despite of their marriage being anything like a normal marriage, her lips had curled into a shy smile. Her cheeks glowing red as the photographer asked them to stand closer. He leaned forward and picked the frame. His fingers caressed her cheek. She is beautiful. Beautiful and loving. It warms his heart every time he looks at her. He stared in her eyes, hope so palpable in those deep brown eyes. The hope which he had seen fading as days passed.

 

He closed his eyes again. And this time an image of her satiated body resting in his arms flashed in front of him. She was so loving, so giving, selfless, giving him everything he asks for. And he, like a selfish bas***d, takes it. Takes it all.

 

Could he compare this woman to his mother? No! The answer was immediate. One year with her, and he knows she is nothing like his mother. When a heart bared to her, she will tend it, cherish it, love it. But will never take it for granted. He knows that. But still, scared to the bones, he, like a fierce warrior, guards his heart from her. But what good is it doing to both of them? She is hurt, and he can't see her hurt. It hurts him, too. Why to subject her to this misery when he has already lost his heart to her? It's better to bury the demons of past and give a chance to future. A future with his Khushi. A sudden image sprang in front of him"They lay there under thousands of twinkling stars, her sweet smile warming his heart as he stares down at her. Her dark cloudy hair laid spread on her pillow, her flushed face urging him to act on his desire. Her brown eyes shining mischievous at him, and still shyness burning her cheek. - An image of a happy couple, a content couple.

 

His fingers holding the frame trembled at that thought. A future with the woman he loves, wants, needs at every step of his life. He wants this. He wants a future, forgetting all about his past. And he knows Khushi can help him. Just like every night. As soon as he holds her in his arm, her soft satiny skin against him, he remembers only her. Only the love he has in his heart, only the love he so desperately wants to give her. And he gives her. In that moment, he bares his heart and soul and lays it at her feet.

 

But as soon as he wakes up, the rational part of his mind dominates him. Telling him all the risks of loving someone, and worst, letting them know how much he loves them. And then like a coward, he bolts out as soon as he can, leaving her hurt.

But not anymore. Bringing the picture close to his face, he kissed her cheek. Today he is going to tell her how much she means to him, how much he loves her, needs her in his life. He will tell her everything, without holding back anything.

 

 

 

 

 

Arnav smiled at the bouquet in his hand. Roses. Khushi loves roses. He knows that. Too eager to see her sweet face, he strode inside the house. Dumping his belongings on the living room couch, he all but ran up the stairs. Not caring to knock, and non wanting to make any noise of his presence, he slowly opened the door ajar, and stopped dead in his track.

 

 

"Hume yaha nahi rehna , Babu ji ...Hume apne saath le chaliye"

 

Her heart-wrenching sobs reached his ears, making it difficult to draw the next breath. She clung to her Babu ji as if her life depends on him.

 

"Khushi, first stop crying please. Listen to me. Tell me what happened." Shashi Gupta tried to pull her away to look at her, but she held him tight.

 

"He doesn't love me, babu ji ...He doesn't ..he" her cheeks burned with shame, but she needs to tell him all. She wants to go away. She can't take it anymore. Not now when she has a child to take care of. "I feel like... like he has bought me ... I am just paying him back by ..by .." she broke into another sob.

 

"Shh ...Khushi, stop crying. I will take you with me ... stop crying, sweetheart." Shashi Gupta hugged his daughter. And for the life of him, he couldn't understand what was wrong. He had seen the way Arnav looks at Khushi, his eyes full of love and tenderness. He cares for her. So what went wrong?

 

"Stop crying now. It isn't good for your health" He pulled her away from the hug and heard a noise from behind. He turned his head to look at Arnav, who stood there, looking pale like a ghost. He looked at Khushi, her eyes wide in shock. He cupped her cheek and made her look at him. "Khushi, I will leave you both alone.." Khushi started to protest, but he shook his head. "No, listen to me. I will leave you both alone. Talk it out And if you still want to leave, then I will take you with me. I promise." Not waiting for her reply, he kissed her forehead and stood off the bed.

 

Shashi Gupta stopped in front of Arnav. "I know you love her." he said, and saw the hurt in his eyes replaced by surprise. "I don't know what's wrong, but fix it before it's too late, Arnav." And with that he left the room, leaving both of them alone.

 

 

 

 

Arnav picked the bouquet from the floor, where it had fallen, and dragged his lifeless body towards the bed. Sitting in front of her, he extended the flowers to her. "Don't leave me.."

 

A fresh batch of tears rolled down her cheeks. It wasn't an order, it was a plea. She just stared at him, not knowing what to do or say.

 

"I heard you...I.." he took her hand in his. "I am sorry if I made you feel that way, that wasn't my intention.."

 

"They why?"

 

The pain in her voice hurt him. He lifted his eyes to look at her.

 

"I know whatever I am going to tell you isn't an excuse for the way I treated you, but ...but I want to tell you this ... I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance ... My ..my mother wasn't a good wife, neither a good mother. Still my father loved her. But all she gave him was pain and hurt. I have seen him in pain, helpless, just because he loved a woman. I never wanted that for myself.. That scares me ... I was scared, Khushi...I feel the same emotions for you which I use to see in my Father's eyes for my mother. It scared me." Leaving her hand, he cupped her cheek. "But know I know you are not like my mother, never were. It was always my fear. I am sorry for that. Every morning I left you, I know you were hurt, and so was I. But I let it continue, thinking I am shielding myself from bigger heartbreaks. But not anymore. Now I have decided to not let my past dominate my present and future. I ..I love you , Khushi ... I do ..If...if you still want to leave me, then I understand ...but not to never return, Khushi ...Hurt me like I have hurt you, but done leave me for good.. Please ..Are you leaving me, Khushi?" His haunted eyes looked into her teary ones.

 

With a sob, she launched herself in his arms. "Every morning you wake up and leave me. You run away from me as fast as you can. I thought you hate me. You can't tolerate to see my face."

 

"God! Khushi , that's not true. I told you my reasons. That's not true." He hugged her fiercely.

 

"You made me feel that way ... you.."

 

"I am sorry ..very sorry ..Just give me a chance , khushi I will spend every second of my life showing how much I love you. How much you mean to me."

 

Khushi rubbed her wet face on his shirt's sleeve and pulled away. She looked down, her face all red. "I want to tell you something ...no ,I want to show you something" she stood off the bed and ran into the bathroom.

 

 

Arnav looked at her puzzled as she came out of the bathroom, her right hand behind her back. She came and again sat in front of him. "Want to show you something.." she said and pulled her hand from behind her. "This..."

 

Arnav looked at the stick forwarded towards him, confused. "What is this?"

 

"This ..this is pregnancy stick.."

 

Arnav just stared at her, too shock to say anything. "What? Are you ... are you pregnant, Khushi..?" he all but stammered.

 

Khushi nodded her head, her head lowered. Not hearing anything for him, despair filled her heart at once. But soon warmth enveloped her. A low sob left her body. She lifted her hand and hugged him back. "You are happy, aren't you? You will love the baby?"

 

"Yes. ...Yes, Khushi , I am happy ..You can't imagine how happy I am .. I will love you and the baby my whole life... I love you.." he pulled away from the hug and smiled at her, happiness evident in his eyes. "No more fear, no more running ..." He promised. 

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