He loves me not

2 years ago

jagrutid

@jagrutid

Hi all sorry it’s been so long since I updated I started a new job and a lot of other things happened including covid. 

Wanted to share this for any one who’s still reading.. (hope you like it any best guesses on what happens next welcome as I don’t know yet)

He loves me not 

Feeling the rays of sun on her resting eyelids and later the realisation of the comfort of her cloud like bedding, Prerna takes a lazy turn in bed hoping to collide comfortably against Rishabhs chest.  As per many other days recently that seemed not to be her fortune.

His aftershave and the aroma of his coffee lingering In the air around her reminded her he was probably close by if not close enough. 

…

When selecting her outfit for the day she felt inclined to choose red. A colour Rishabh would always complement her in. 

.. 

Down at the breakfast table as Kuki chopped on her chocolate cereal, a whole mouthful meant she couldn’t answer her mom but looked up with big grin when she felt her mother kiss the crown of her dead. 

Good morning beta, “Pa?” she said looking down at Kuki who couldn’t chomp through her cereal and grinned amusingly. 

“Left for the office about a hour ago I’m afraid Mrs Bajaj.” Answered George from over his half moon glasses.  He was watering his plants over by the window in the kitchen.

“Breakfast?” He asked looking over at her. 

“Yes please” answered Prerna after breaking away from a feeling of disappointment within. 

George poured Prerna a cup of tea”

“You do look lovely today Mrs Bajaj if I do say so.” George’s  English charm always comforted her.

“Thank you George” she said with a smile having just herself noticed that every bit of her today was searching, yearning to be with Rishabh and it was soon to be obvious to others if she wasn’t cautious. 

…

“Any messages for me?” Asked Prerna as she walked into the office and stopped by the reception desk. 

“Nothing today Mrs Bajaj” replied  the receptionist. Maybe Prena had hoped for a note from Mr Bajaj but it didn’t seem to be the case.

“How long has the meeting been going on?” she asked glancing over towards the conference room where she could see Rishabh amongst Mr Mehra, Mahesh and others. Whatever this project was it was extremely dear to her husband. He was personally involved in tasks he would have normally delegated for many days now. 

“Going on 2 hours now” she heard the receptionist mention casually who seemed to be collecting a print out to be taken into the boardroom. Prerna quickly volunteered. 

..

Knocking lightly on the door at first Prerna  entered the room. 

As soon as she walked in eyes locked on Rishabh at the head of the boardroom table. His eyes under his glasses intently focused on his bits of paper.

A glance to the side and Prerna met with Mr Mehras warm eyes which said hello, later Mahesh beside him whos eyes seemed be  complaining about how boring actually having to work was. Both gentlemen manage  to comfort Prerna and sprinkle her heart with optimism. Now all she hoped for was one glance from Mr Bajaj himself. As she put the document down on the table In front of him she watched him nod in acknowledgment but stay fixed on his work. Did he even know it was her? 

Maybe it was childish of her to think she’d get a intimate gaze from him let alone any attention at a time like this. There was only so much longer she could warrant her presence. Leaving the room silently Prerna went on with her day as did Rishabh his.

He was too busy and he’d made it clear he was not to be disturbed. 

..

Prerna waited as long as she could do before leaving the office at the close of the day. She had the girls waiting for her and needed to be home. Dinner and conversation with Kuki Sneha & of course George lighted her heart but eventually Mr Bajajs absence caught up with her. 

Walking into their room Prerna took in the strange atmosphere that had formed in the space over the last few days. Even the room seemed to know it’s owner was missing.
Stepping out into the balcony where Rishabhs chair sat in waiting for his return Prerna paused a moment and ran her hand against the frame of the wooden chair. There was something comforting about that as was there about reaching to close Mr Bajajs cigar case and put away a stray whisky glass that had been lucky enough to have had his company. 

Taking a sigh Prerna again distracted herself with a shower & a change into something more comfortable and it was when she walked over to her bedside did Rishabhs autobiography catch her eyes.  There seemed no evening more suitable than this. 

Taking the book downstairs with her Prerna brewed a cup of coffee in the kitchen. This way she’d be able to stay awake no matter how late Mr Bajaj returned. 

As she walked over to Rishabhs arm chair in the lounge she found Sneha cutely sprawled with her book in her fathers seat. 

“Isn’t it your bed time?” Said Prerna with a motherly gaze having already put the girls to bed once already earlier.

Shenas adorable gaze could melt any and every heart as did it stop Prerna from being to cross. Prerna watched Sneha climb off the chair with her storybook. 

Watching her trundle off Prerna wondered if her little one too was missing her father. 

With no one around Prerna considered taking a seat in Mr Bajajs chair but halted. She couldn’t bring herself to even if there was no one watching and no one would ever care it just felt like she was about to breach a unspoken etiquette. 

She decided to curl up and sit on the floor against the side of the chair In wait of him. Opening up his autobiography  for the very first time she went on to read and in no given order that.

 She chose  to read the chapter she’d dreaded the most first she started with one with reference to Rishabhs ‘love at first sight and  found her heart flourishing at Rishabhs account of  new born Kuki who captured his heart In away he’d never felt before and later his second claim to love, Sneha.

The book was a rich account of Rishabhs feelings, moments in his life and so many things Prerna knew about her husband through sharing life with him but were refreshing to hear from perspective. She read about his relationship with George, his accounts on Mahesh and much much more. If anything slowly filled the void she’d been feeling today then it was this book. Page after page  Prerna continued to read until she realised one thing.

There was no mention of her?, there was no chapter on her?

When the realisation dawned and she searched, it swept Prerna back into the bleak loneliness she’d been feeling all day. Taken back her mind ended on hurtful question. 

“Did he not love her ..?” she asked herself, did he not care for her like he cared for the others.  Thinking back to how he seemed too preoccupied to spare her a glance these days her heart began to well up at the possibility of never being the subject of his love as she assumed or no longer being fortunate enough to be worthy of it. Prenas eyes began to follow suit with her heart and they began to well up, her tears soon falling onto the pages on the book in her lap.

..

Some time later when Rishabh returned home taking note of the lighting in the lounge he walked in with intention of switching off a light that had probably accidentally been left on when he spotted Prerna at a distance.

Walking over and lowering himself to a sqwat Rishabh sees Prerna had fallen asleep with his book to hand. Looking a little closer he notices a stray tear which had run down her cheek and dried up on her chin. His eyes taking to a worry he wipes away the tear and lifts Prerna into his arms and walks her up towards their  room. 

…

To be continued ..